Our latest weekday noon theme park dining review covers the Blackened Fish Tacos at the Rainforest Cafe at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Is it worth the cost?

As the great philosopher Axl Rose sang, “Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games.” However, after our experience at the Rainforest Cafe at Disney’s Animal Kingdom theme park, we would like to modify those lyrics. How about: “Welcome to the jungle, where the animatronics are loud, the thunderstorms are
scheduled, and the food is… definitely present on the plate.” Sure, it is hard to sing and lacks a good beat. Still, it sums up a recent trip fairly well.

Quick Summary

• Location: Rainforest Cafe, Disney’s Animal Kingdom (The one with the giant mushroom and the
• existential dread)
• Item: Blackened Fish Tacos
• Price: $23.79 (Plus the cost of a headache from the mechanical gorillas)
• Components: Jalapeño ranch, red cabbage, citrus vinaigrette, pico de gallo, black beans, and Jasmine rice.

The Portal to the Beige Tropics at Rainforest Cafe

If you have ever stood at the entrance of Disney’s Animal Kingdom and thought, “I would like to pay theme park prices for a restaurant I can find at a suburban mall in New Jersey, but with more humidity,” then the Rainforest Cafe is your Mecca. In fairness, this isn’t just any Rainforest Cafe. This is the Animal Kingdom location. Unlike its cousin at Disney Springs, which sits over the water and pretends to be a volcano, this one acts as a literal gatekeeper to the park. You can even order breakfast food during the morning hours.

It’s the only restaurant at Disney World that exists in a state of quantum superposition. It is both inside and outside the park at the same time. You can enter from the ticketing area or from within the park, making it the perfect place to sit and contemplate your life choices while a robotic elephant trumpets in your ear.

The interior is exactly what you expect. It’s dark, it’s loud, and everything is covered in plastic foliage that has likely seen more dust than a museum exhibit. Still, we aren’t here for the atmosphere (though the simulated thunderstorm every twenty minutes is a great way to ensure you never actually finish a conversation). We visited for the food, because we were hungry. That led us to order the Blackened Fish Tacos.

The Blackened Fish Tacos Presentation: A Study in Geometry

When the plate arrived, it looked exactly like food. There were three tacos. There was a serving of rice. However, we did not notice it at first since the tacos were on top of the rice. Additionally, there was a reasonable serving of black beans. The visual arrangement was so standard that it almost felt like a stock photo come to life. Of course, we would know.

The fish was blackened, which in this context means it had been introduced to a spice rack but wasn’t necessarily on speaking terms with it. The red cabbage provided a pop of color that whispered, “I am
healthy,” while the jalapeño ranch stood by to remind you that we are still in a chain restaurant.
For $23.79, you expect a certain level of culinary theater. At Tiffins, just a short walk away, that same amount of money might get you an appetizer that looks like a work of art. The highly-regarded Tiffins Burger does not cost much more than the Blackened Fish Tacos at Rainforest Cafe.

However, our meal served as the “Average Special.” It’s the kind of meal that doesn’t demand your attention. This meal just sat there waiting for us to complete the biological necessity of fueling our bodies for the trek to Pandora. Nonetheless, the portion size was more than we expected for the $24 price tag at a theme park.

The Blackened Fish Tacos Flavor Profile: The Middle of the Road

Let’s talk about the fish. It was blackened, which usually implies a crust of bold, smoky spices. We could see the spices. Still, these tacos opted for a more “grayish-brown” approach. Please bear in mind that the writing of this theme park dining review is legally color blind, so check the photos for yourself.

Good news: The fish was cooked. That is the highest compliment we can pay it. It wasn’t dry, but it wasn’t succulent. It was perfectly, aggressively adequate. If the fish had a personality, it would be a mid-level accountant who really enjoys spreadsheets and beige khakis – sorry to all accountants everywhere. Still, we needed a job people would define as unexciting.

To enhance our dining experience, the tortillas used for the tacos were very thin. They were so thin that our tacos fell apart quickly while eating them. In simple terms, these qualify as messy!

The jalapeño ranch promised a kick that never quite arrived. It was more of a “jalapeño suggestion.” It provided moisture, which was necessary, but the heat was so mild it could have been served to most toddlers without incident. The red cabbage and citrus vinaigrette added a crunch, which was appreciated.
Crunch is good. It reminds you that you are alive while the animatronic butterflies above you flicker in and out of consciousness.

The pico de gallo was fresh enough. The tomatoes were red, the onions were white, and the cilantro was present in a quantity that suggested the chef was worried about overstepping. It was a very polite pico de gallo. It didn’t want to cause any trouble.

The Sides: An Interesting Combination

Now, about the Jasmine rice and black beans. Jasmine rice is usually fragrant and light. This Jasmine rice was more like “rice that is here because we needed a starch.” It was a bit clumpy, like it was trying to hold onto its friends before being consumed.

The black beans were similarly unenthusiastic. They were beans. They were black and in a bowl. Sure, the portion size of beans was more than expected. However, the beans need to be mixed with the rice to create an acceptable flavor. The beans serve as the source of spicy kick for this meal. When combined with the rice, which is far away from the beans on our plate, the side options start to measure up.

Yet, at a table service restaurant at Walt Disney World, you can get well-seasoned beans at Satu’li Canteen for half the price, these felt like they were just filling space on the plate to justify the price tag. Compared to other menu items at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, including at its sister restaurant Yak & Yeti, the tacos at Rainforest Cafe feel like the “participation trophy” of theme park dining. You won’t regret eating them, but you certainly won’t tell your grandchildren about them. You will finish the plate, pay the bill, and immediately forget what you just ate the moment you see a real giraffe on the safari.

Blackened Fish Tacos: The “Most Meal Ever”

Is the Rainforest Cafe at Animal Kingdom special? Yes, in the sense that it has its own dedicated entrance, and you can buy a light-up souvenir glass that you will never use again.
Are the Blackened Fish Tacos worth $23.79? In the economy of a theme park, sure! In the economy of “things that taste good,” they are a solid “C.”

Please go to the Rainforest Cafe if you have children who love moving plastic animals. Also, go if you
need a place to sit in the air conditioning for ninety minutes while a storm rages every twenty. Still, if you are looking for a culinary revelation, you might want to keep walking toward Pandora. These tacos aren’t a disaster; they are just a very expensive way to stay full until dinner. They are the definition of average, and in a place as magical as Walt Disney World, sometimes “just okay” is the weirdest experience of all.

For more theme park dining reviews, visit MSM News every weekday at noon Eastern Time. Additionally, we sometimes post bonus theme park dining reviews. As always, eat like you mean it!

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